When I was little, my mother always chose toys that were based on the popular G.I. Be based on. Looks like. Joe or Transformers action figures, but they weren’t the real deal. Their faces were strange, their joints did not move properly and sometimes even their limbs would break and fall off. Of course, these knockoff toys were cheaper than the original toys, which was good for my little fun. But no matter how much I fantasized, those destroyed GoBots couldn’t transform into Optimus Prime.
The awkward cut makes it look like Dakota Johnson is rushing to the car to save Dakota Johnson who’s already in the car. #MadameWeb pic.twitter.com/xag2dHH74s
— Jay Thomas (@GroundhogJay_) February 13, 2024
If I could see the future like Cassie Webb, I might have known that disappointment was preparing me for movies like “Madame Webb.” It’s a film made by Sony, but it lacks the charm you’d expect from a superhero film. Madame Web, a character from the outskirts of the Marvel universe, is the focus here. It seems like Sony, as they did with “Morbius” and “Venom,” is scraping the barrel for lesser-known characters to make movies about.
In the original comics, Madame Web was an old, blind woman in a wheelchair with psychic powers. But in this movie, she’s a fit Gen X ambulance driver who sees bad things before they happen. She can be in many places at once. Not bad powers, but they don’t exactly make for an interesting story. Once you get used to his abilities, things become quite dull. Her premonitions are scary, like in “Final Destination”, but Cassie’s ability to redo things doesn’t make each situation any less exciting.
#SydneySweeney At #MadameWeb
— Cinema Time 🎟️ (@CinemaTime_) February 13, 2024
Premiere..😍pic.twitter.com/g6mh15b7nJ
Even with talented actors like Dakota Johnson, the film could never keep up with big-budget Marvel movies like “The Avengers.” The script is confusing, the action scenes are boring and the special effects look cheap. There’s this weird recurring image of Cassie surrounded by what looks like a big ball of plasma, which looks absolutely silly. But here’s the big thing: tickets cost the same as they would for a proper Marvel movie. So why settle for knockoffs?
Except for the beginning, most of “Madame Web” takes place in 2003 New York City, set in a simulated Amazon jungle. Cassie’s pregnant mother, Constance, travels to Peru to find a rare spider with healing powers. That mythical spider doesn’t believe in people’s legends, but maybe she should.
Constance is betrayed by Ezekiel Sims and dies in the woods after being bitten by a spider, passing her powers on to her unborn daughter Cassie. It’s a comic book movie, but when you break down the plot it feels like something out of Greek mythology: Cassie grows up as an orphan in New York and, after a near-death experience at age 30, returns to see her Get the powers of the future. Unlike the original Cassandra, people trust her.
Ezekiel also lives in Manhattan and is haunted by a dream of his. He stole a spider and gained some powers for his trouble. He is determined to stop three young women who come into his sight from killing him. Cassie saves his life before he can hurt them. These young women, Julia, Anya, and Mattie, have the ability to become Spider-Woman, which terrifies Ezekiel.
To be fair, there are already a lot of spider-related superheroes out there, especially after Sony’s “Spider-Verse” movies. Instead of clarifying things, this film only increases confusion. This hints at more spinoffs and future team-ups with Cassie and the three young women.
It feels like this movie takes place before Marvel took over. Even when they are shooting on location, it still feels like they are on a film set. The action scenes with Ezekiel feel fake, and his costume is embarrassing. Johnson and Sweeney bring some charm to their characters, but it’s not enough to save the film.
There are indications that the film was intended to be more ambitious, but did not succeed. This could have explored a romantic relationship between Cassie and fellow paramedic Ben. Instead, Cassie spends most of the film caring for three young women and referencing 2003 pop culture.
In the end, “Madame Web” feels like a long commercial for soda and a setup for more spinoffs. Cassie promised that they’ll be prepared for whatever the future holds, but it’s clear that this franchise is going nowhere. And you don’t have to be arrogant to hope for the best.
